Intervening with student behavior is more than stopping or redirecting what is happening in the moment, it also includes guiding the student forward in the process to developing strategies, plans, and options for next time.
Here is a 4 step behavior processing conversation that will help the student make a plan for next time as you begin to uncover a deeper understanding from the student's perspective about what is happening in the moments of difficulty.
Step 1: Pick the right time.
Processing behavior is rarely effective when emotions are high. Ensure that the student and yourself have de-escalated from the issue or event so that you can break down the situation into the relevant parts. The two biggest mistakes made are a) jumping into a conversation when people are not ready and b) not having the conversation at all because things are peaceful in the moment. The first mistake sets the student up for failure in the present, the second mistake doesn't prepare the student for success in the future.
Step 2: Start with the situation
These are the factual details of the behavioral event. Many times students and teachers want to focus primarily on the facts when looking back at what happened. An over-focus on getting the specifics of the situation during the discussion frequently can derail the behavior processing moment because of disagreements over the irrelevant details. When this occurs, it may be helpful to acknowledge what you heard without agreeing with what is factually true. Using statements like:
"I hear your perspective"
"I understand what you are telling me"
"Thank you for sharing how you saw what happened".
Unless something is glaringly incorrect, I recommend not holding up moving through the situation by ensuring that each fact is agreed upon by all parties. The power of processing behavior is understanding "why" it happened more so than "ensuring the replay of the situation is 100% accurate".
Step 3: Help naming the feelings that were present before the situation
Action follows feelings. Often times something happens that stirs up a feeling inside of the student, and that "stirring" evokes a behavior or action to occur. As educators we work to control the environment to reduce the likelihood that whatever the setting event that started the downward spiral doesn't occur again. In a skills-based approach, we want to explicitly teach students that when something like this happens, how to respond to the internal feelings (e.g., embarassment) and body response cues (e.g., neck gets hot & clenching teeth) that immediately rises up.
Step 4: Consider the options available in the moment in question
In any situation, there are a number of choices that could be made. There is the wrong choice that started this conversation along with a variety of other options that could have been chosen. Discuss through each option with the student by having them consider the highs and lows of each choice. For example, raising your hand and waiting your turn to be called on is great, but the downside is that someone else might share your answer and then you would miss out on being right. It is important to articulate the downside of doing the right thing, because if there was no downside then everyone would be doing what is right each time.
Step 5: Identify the best choice
Now that you've walked from the situation to the solutions, have them select the best option for next time. Take this chosen solution and break it down into the specific steps so there is a step by step process "to do" and not a general idea "to consider" without a clear plan. Now you and the student have a plan for when this situation happens again.
I often refer to this as the High 5 Behavior Processing Plan. It provides a visual cue to the components of the conversation.
Palm: What happened in the situation
Forearm: The feelings/events that led up to the situation
Fingers: The options that are/were available following the event
Thumb: The best choice (broken down into steps) for next time
You can access a pdf download of this form here.
Following these steps doesn't guarantee that you won't be facing this situation again, but it does help everyone be pointed in the same direction with task analyzed steps to success. Each time, you keep adjusting the plan giving more clear guidance supporting the development of the skills for success.
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